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It's been a year

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Update on Gerard's year and health. The good news: Gerard progressed from third grade (all A's) and will be going to fourth grade next fall. This is nothing short of a miracle! He missed ten days of school (instead of 50 like in second grade), and somehow managed to be strong enough to play a role in Ballet West's Nutcracker, affectionately known in the cast as "Spank Boy" for Cast A, which literally brought him back to life in a way I'd never imagined. He loves to dance and perform. Trips to Salt Lake to rehearse did wonders for his self-confidence and as tiny as he was. He matured leaps and bounds by being around professional dancers and other boy ballet dancers. He's become a voracious reader, and though he still enjoys math and science, he's more inclined in the arts at this time. He still enjoys kicking the soccer ball around, and also has recently learned to ride his bike after having to put that on hold for two years. If you zoom in on his...
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Gerard

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How to handle life when you need help. Accept it. Because you know that when you can help others, you do. So...here it is. And here we are. I don't feel the need to share every single symptom or detail of what's going on with his illness, because I'm consistently met with the reaction of, "Well, he looks great to me!" OK. He looks great. But what you don't see is this happening every day after school: His fatigue level is such that the minute he sits in the car, he's flopped over in five minutes max. It happens at the dinner table (again), which is what happens when he's about to flare. Why is this happening? We don't know. He has a hematoma on his cheek because he fell out of his bed on Monday night. (He didn't want to wake me up)... My kid! Which is why we need to get to the Mayo Clinic to figure this thing out. Yes, I realize he looks great to everyone. Yes, that is the stigma of a "hidden" disease. What don...
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The talk

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Having the kind of talk we had today is not something I've ever prepared for, even under our circumstances of "sick" mode over the past year. We leave for Mayo tomorrow, and Gerard has been so very tired since his chemotherapy treatment. He sleeps a lot. His time awake is spent going full blast - and he's wearing himself right out. Here's why... G-ism of the day: G: Mom, what would you do if I died, right now, today? Me: I would be very, very sad. And I would think that God must need you more than I need you right now, today. (Tearing up, gulp). What would you do if I dided today? G: I'm not sure I could live without you. I would miss you too much. I would be so sad. Let's not talk about this right now, OK? Me: OK. Is there anything else you wanted to ask me? G: I'm going to take a rest now. If that's OK. Please wake me up in an hour. OK? Me: OK. That's a great idea. I think the "birds and the bees" talk will be so much e...
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